YOU ALRIGHT?

HELLO my pretty pretties.

Here I am eating breakfast after another late night out. I find this whole working for the weekend thing a bit nice. Actually knowing what hours your supposed to be involved and when you can walk away. That's pretty cool. Although I could see how it would drive me crazy after a time. Being so used to having so much time off then running into crazy hours and high pay.

A FUNNY THING

SO here, when someone sees you for the first time in a day, a proper greeting for us Americans would be "Hi, how are you" perhaps you would say "Hows it going" These greeting are so familiar and just the polite thing to say that it becomes almost mindless to ask someone how they are and expect the usual response of "I'm fine thanks for asking" But here, the popular turn of phrase is "you alright?" You can't even comprehend what this does to me. With one simple sentence my entire being turns to doubt and I begin to question everything. I will lead you along my thought process following what seems to be a simple question.

Steve: "You Alright?"

Jessica: "Uh, what? "

Steve: "You Alright?"

Jessica: "uhhhhhh............"

(in my brain) ....... I think so...... mmm..................at least I thought so........

........................Wait, why? don't I look alright?...... does he know something i don't?

do i have something in my teeth? is my mascara running? do I have bad breath?

..... WTF? he simply asked how I was doing....... dear god say something......

"yea, yea.... I'm fine How are you?"

(end scene)

when really it should be as nonchalant as

Steve: "you alright?"

Jessica: "yea you?"

Steve: "yup"

(end Scene)

So every morning when I walk into Providence Row and everyone is asking me If I'm alright, I have to toughen up and stop my brain from flying into a sea of doubt. (I know, its tough being me)

This brings me to a subject I am happy to begin. Providence Row. My placement. I think I am the luckiest volunteer on this trip. I think I got the absolute perfect placement for me, and I think the people I work for are so f-ing great and I feel blessed everyday for what I am doing. I felt the need to write a little bit about the work I am doing here, since so far from my blogs, you would think I have just been partying my ass off. Which is quite true, I will not lie to you my reader. I have been partying my ass off, I fear when I leave London it will be with a heavy heart and half a liver. But every Monday through Friday from 9am to 4:30 I am diligently working under a fine chap named Steve Huddleston (I'm his intern) He is a musician so we get along famously. He trusts me enough in my first week to stay late and lock up after The Bike Works Course. He has given me some suggestions on what kind of project I want to leave behind and he trusts that I will work something out. I really enjoy my job (volunteer position) I've already redesigned some of there posters advertising courses for the clients (homeless) I am working with Caroline from PR (providence row) to help get the women's group up and running. I have an appointment on Monday with a health counselor who will come to the group and do talks on sex health and HIV. I have to wait a few weeks, but they have a group here called the Warrior Women who come for free to do Self Defense classes. I can't wait to set that up. Since a large percentage of women in the system are street walkers. I think self defense is really important. I really hope I can leave them with a structured group for the lovely ladies of Tower Hamlets who just need to come together and heal together and grow out of the lives they have found themselves in. It makes me cry just to think about it. So needless to say I am on cloud 9. When you do something unselfishly for others, there is a feeling of euphoria that comes with it. You know what I am speaking of. Its just so good to help others, and it feels like flying when you make a connection with someone you never thought you would and in a small way you helped to give them a little piece of there dignity. There is one client there I will call her Sasha (names have been changed to protect the innocent) The first few times she saw me there she was cold and just like all the others, you see so many people and as a homeless person, most people don't treat you like a human being so your defenses are up right from the beginning. It took a few days before she saw my face everyday and I remembered her name everyday and she slowly started to smile at me when she came in. Now, In the morning I see her coming and give her a big "GOOD morning Sasha" and she smiles, she comes to me for help on the computers (they can sign up for Internet access for 45 minutes, you know, look for jobs, check emails, stay in touch with there families) Its little connection like this that just make me skip all day. Like I am really doing something that is meaningful and a positive and man, if I could live the rest of my life without making any money and just helping people. I would.

Let me describe to you a normal day at Providence Row

They have a hostile upstairs that can sleep I believe 53 people. So around 8am they serve breakfast to the people who sleep there. Then at 9:15 every morning they have a meeting to discuss how every body's day went the day before, was there any problems in the kitchen? Did someone act out? Was there any new registrations? Its great, everybody is truly on the same page then and so, say Cristoph was acting out the day before then everyone is aware and try to help him somehow, find out why he was behaving that way and what can anyone do for him. They know alot about all there clients, perhaps during this meeting someone will say, "well christoph's friend passed away 2 nights ago and he his in a state we all need to make sure he's going to be alright" Its so beautiful the way this small staff has a handle on there clients. SO, when 9:30 hits, they open the gates to anyone who wants a meal, its a wave of people hitting reception to check in and get a ticket for breakfast. They rush in to get in line for showers and laundry and sign up for the various internet times. There is someone on the gate letting people in a few at a time, there are usually 3 people behind reception checking people in, taking names for computers, handing out towels, shampoo, razors, soap, they accept mail for people so there's always a line looking to see if they have mail. They charge peoples cell phones, and act like a bank, holding onto peoples money and passports so it will be safe. These are just the things they do on a front line kind of way. Taking care of peoples basic needs. I've worked reception, the kitchen, the internet, but most importantly, they want me to just walk around and smile and get to know people, talking to people and promoting the groups they offer. I have been to the farm, ran the bike works, helped with the IT classes, helped with the Alcohol Group yesterday. There are so many things. I really want to make sure this women's group is off the ground before I go. But also, they want to set up a music studio in there Satellite Centre and I want to help them with that. I am currently writing a press release to send to the local papers to try to drum up instrument donations to get the program off the ground. Cause you know me! I am a firm believer in the fact that MUSIC HEALS. It has healed me my whole life, sometimes being my only friend in moments of weakness. I hope the homeless of Tower Hamlets can regain a sense of humanity and belonging through a music education class and a jam session. Its the little things baby. I AM LOVING THIS!!!

Side note: I need to marry a rich guy so I can travel the world on my philanthropic missions, little by little making the world a better place to live.

Side Side note: I guess I will just have to keep working hard so that I can at least do these once a year.

Side side side note: You should do it to. Everyone should do this. Besides helping people, you are in fact helping yourself. Learn, grow, change = good.

So this blog has once again become an novel, I will try to get another video out to you soon. Its just so hard to sit still. There are so many things to do, so many places to see and only a small window of time on weekends to try to fit it all in.

I will leave you with this note. Be good to yourself, and others. That guy you pass on the street and don't acknowledge could be you someday, or your brother, your sister. Homelessness happens, you loose your house to foreclosure, your husband leaves you destitute, the economy crashes and everybody looses there jobs and can't afford there homes. There are many different faces of homelessness. And it could be yours. So next time you see that lady on the corner or that man sitting in front of the bus station, I'm not saying give them money. But one of the biggest things you could do is the most simple. Just smile. They are humans too, who need to feel loved.

----

Jessica Loveless

Global Volunteer